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  But I wasn’t holding my breath.

  I excited the SUV and sped around to her side to open the door. She slid out, her eyes wide with excitement. With a hand on her back, I led her toward the large double doors at the front of the building.

  I glanced down at her hand, longing to reach for it. Only doubt stopped me.

  Were we back there yet? Was I allowed to do something as simple as take her hand? Would she even want that?

  As the confusion and hesitation swam through my mind, Charlotte turned to me and smiled. It was big and beautiful and so full of happiness I had to return it, even though my stomach was in knots.

  In a surge of courage, I grabbed her hand and threaded my fingers with hers. Charlotte’s smile got wider as she squeezed me gently. That little bit of pressure went straight to my chest, building there and overwhelming me.

  We walked hand in hand into the building as I tried to remind myself this wasn’t the end of the world. Even if it meant the end of her human life.

  “Hey there, folks! How are we doing?”

  We were greeted by a vampire woman who looked to be in her thirties. She had dirty blonde hair pulled into a tight bun on the top of her head and a welcoming smile on her face.

  “I’m good,” Charlotte said, her voice softer than usual.

  Did that mean she was nervous?

  Good.

  “I’m fine, thanks,” I said after getting jabbed in the ribs by Charlotte’s elbow.

  The woman’s smile widened. “I’m Abigail, and I’m running this orientation. Usually there are several of us, but with this group so small, we decided only one needed to be here. Have you all filled out your paperwork?”

  Charlotte thrust a manila envelope forward, and I watched Abigail take it from her, all the while wishing I could snatch it from them and set it on fire.

  Those documents were the first step in Charlotte becoming a vampire, and I hated them. I’d despised every line I’d had to fill out and every signature I’d had to make. I’d thought about destroying them a dozen times, but always stopped.

  Partly because she could just print another set and fill them out again.

  But mostly because I knew exactly what kind of hell storm that would stir up with Charlotte, and I just wasn’t willing to die on that hill.

  Abigail scanned the papers and then nodded. “Everything looks good to me. Come on in and meet the others.”

  She led us through the wide front entrance and down a hall to a theater style classroom. There were four others already seated when we arrived. One vampire, and three humans, and immediately the need for this emergency orientation became clear.

  Each human was hooked up to something. Whether that be an oxygen tank or an IV pole, they all had wires coming out of them. Their skin was sickly, their eyes dull. I could even smell the light stench of death on them.

  It was clear these three people, two men and one woman, all had limited time left in their human lives. Their decision to become vampires made so much sense to me.

  Then I glanced down at Charlotte, the perfect picture of health. Shiny hair, pink cheeks, clear, bright eyes. Unlike these others, she had so much to live for and she was just throwing it away.

  I grit my teeth and turned my head before the anger could overwhelm me.

  “If you all will have a seat, we can begin,” Abigail called from the front.

  Charlotte pulled me over to a couple desks in the front row. I pretended I didn’t see her laughing as I carefully stuffed my large frame into the tiny chair.

  “I’m happy to meet you all and I hope we have a great orientation weekend,” Abigail said with a wide smile. “We have a lot to go over, so let’s get started right away. If I could have all the humans follow me, we can start the first assessment.”

  “What the hell is an assessment?” Charlotte whispered to me.

  “I’m so glad you asked,” Abigail called from the front of the room.

  Charlotte swallowed loudly and sat back in her chair.

  “As I’m sure you know, choosing to be changed is a monumental decision. One that can’t be taken lightly and can’t be taken back. We start our orientation with individual assessments to make sure you’re all comfortable making that decision. We do these without your potential makers around to ensure you’re coming to this decision on your own and not under duress.”

  Charlotte nodded, but I could see the tightening around her eyes and knew she was nervous. Abigail must have noticed too.

  “Don’t worry. It’s just a quick chat with me where I ask you a bunch of questions and you answer them as honestly as possible. No big deal!”

  Charlotte nodded again and rose from her seat, the other three humans already making their way to the front of the room. She turned and gave me a small smile before following Abigail and the others out the door.

  I listened to them for as long as I could, but predictably, Abigail led them far enough away that I couldn’t monitor their conversation. Deep down, I knew I could trust that she’d be safe, but on the surface, I was a wreck. I clenched my fists and folded my arms across my chest as I anxiously waited for her to return.

  I absolutely knew how ridiculous I was being.

  Abigail was clearly not a new vampire. Even if Charlotte still smelled like ancient blood, which I didn’t think she did, the orientation director should be able to control herself.

  At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.

  “Is this your first time?”

  I turned to the vampire waiting with me, having almost forgot he was there. “Um. Yeah, actually.”

  The dark-haired man nodded with a snort. “I can always tell the newbies when they come in. I’m Jasper, by the way.”

  “Alexander.”

  “You’re welcome for the emergency orientation.”

  I just barely held back a growl. The last fucking thing I was, was grateful.

  “Yeah, I had them make an exception because this batch was so sick.”

  “Batch?” I asked through gritted teeth.

  “Yeah. Normally I round them all up and do this in September, but I had a few vamps not work out and needed to fill their spots immediately.” He shook his head in clear exasperation. “It’s so annoying. I put all this work and energy into turning them, and things are fine for a few decades before they start getting philosophical on me.”

  “What does that mean?”

  He rolled his eyes and leaned back further in his seat. “Oh, you know. I’m sick of watching my loved ones pass away. It’s not natural to live this long. I just want to die with dignity. Ugh,” he said, his face pinched like he’d gotten a mouthful of something sour.

  My heart dropped to the soles of my feet. “Are you saying someone you changed killed themselves?” I almost couldn’t get the words out, I was so frozen in terror.

  But he just shrugged. “Yeah, one did. Another one got in a fight and lost, and I don’t know what happened to the third. He just stopped showing up. He was a drinker though and probably got caught at sunrise one day.” Another shrug. “It’s not the end of the world, but it is a hassle.”

  I wanted to rip his arms from his body and beat him bloody with them. The way he talked about his progeny was disgusting. Like their lives were so expendable. Like they didn’t matter at all.

  “I do this all the time,” he continued, oblivious to the rage just simmering beneath my surface. “I find these sick humans who have nothing left to live for, and I offer them a new life. And then they work for me for a while to pay off their debt. Everyone wins.”

  “And how long do they need to work to break even?”

  He shrugged again. “It all depends on my needs at the time. If they’ve put in enough work and I’m fully staffed, I’ll let a couple go.”

  So, not only did he take advantage of these people when they were human, but it ran over into their vampire life too. Why was he allowed to do this? Why would anyone agree to let this asshole change them?

  He started
speaking, almost as if he’d heard my thoughts. “The trick is to find the ones that don’t have many visitors. The ones with no families are always the first to say yes.”

  I didn’t know if I was going to be sick or start swinging. It could honestly have gone either way.

  “What about you? Why’d you agree to this?” he asked, a smile spread across his face like he wasn’t the most disgusting being I’d ever had the misfortune of talking to.

  It was my turn to shrug because I still hadn’t agreed to this. I was just going along with the motions, hoping I could stop this train before it was too late. “She just asked.”

  He shook his head, smile widening. “Alexander, let me give you a little advice. Never change a girlfriend. She’ll be up your ass for the next century.”

  “She’s not my girlfriend.”

  Well, not technically.

  We’d never actually discussed titles. In fact, there was a lot we never discussed. Things like our future were always off the table. I didn’t know what her reasoning was, but I dreaded the coming years.

  I knew there were only two ways things could go with me and Charlotte.

  Either she stayed a human, and eventually she’d grow away from me. She’d want a husband and kids, despite what she said. She wouldn’t get that quaint house in the suburbs with me. Sooner or later, she’d move on, and I’d have to watch her go.

  Or I could change her into a vampire. I wouldn’t have to watch her leave, but instead, I’d get to witness her grow to resent me. She’d wake up one night and realize everything I stole from her when I’d agreed to change her, and she’d never look at me the same way again.

  But either way you sliced it, I ended up without Charlotte. So, the last thing I wanted to talk about was the future.

  “So, she doesn’t want you to change her so you’ll be together forever?” Jasper asked, breaking me out of my thoughts. He had his hands clasped beneath his chin as he batted his eyelashes. He looked like a fucking moron.

  “No, it’s not like that. She just wants to be a vampire.”

  Or was it? It was hard to know where I stood with her. We’d been getting closer again since she moved back in and it felt like things were slowly getting back to normal, but my words in the hospital still hung awkwardly in the air between us.

  I’d told her I loved her, and she’d still not returned the sentiment. That just wasn’t something I could forget. In fact, I found myself thinking about it more and more every day that passed without her revealing her feelings for me.

  “So, you’re just changing some chick because she asked you to? What do you get out of it?”

  I shrugged again. “Nothing, I guess.”

  He was quiet for a moment, and I could feel his dark eyes assessing me. “But you don’t want to change her, do you?”

  I froze in place, not willing to give him anymore ammo than he already had. But I guessed there was no harm in being honest. “No. I don’t want to change her.”

  “But you’re going to do it anyway?”

  I blew out a deep breath and answered with the truth again. “Probably.”

  Jasper was silent for a long time before he laughed so loud I actually jumped. “Oh, you poor sorry bastard.” He chuckled. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

  Son of a bitch.

  How the fuck did he know that?

  I gritted my teeth but remained quiet. I’d let him think what he wanted, but I wasn’t confirming shit.

  “Oh, my God, you are in love with her.” He laughed harder, leaning forward in his chair. “Oh, you idiot. Don’t you know she’s playing you?”

  I wanted to ignore him. I tried really hard to pretend like I hadn’t heard him, and his words meant nothing, but I knew he knew the truth. He’d struck hard and his aim was true.

  “How would you know?” I grunted.

  “Because we’re the fountain of youth! Everyone wants a piece of us! If you refused to change her, I bet she’d have someone else agree to it before the day was over.”

  Although she’d threatened to call Adrienne before, she hadn’t done it. I knew she wanted me to be the one to change her, I just didn’t really know why.

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I don’t? Tell me something. Has she already threatened to have someone else change her if you say no?”

  I didn’t answer, but that told him everything he needed to know.

  He laughed again. “That’s what I thought. Man, you’re fucking dumb.”

  “Shut the fuck up,” I growled.

  He just laughed harder. “Hey, man, don’t get pissed at me. It’s not my fault you fell for a fang fucker who just wants to stay young and pretty.”

  “That’s not what’s happening here,” I said between clenched teeth, my jaw starting to ache from the pressure.

  “Sure it’s not.”

  I opened my mouth to argue again, but snapped it closed instead. It was clear I wouldn’t change his mind, and I had better things to do with my time. Besides, I could hear Abigail’s voice coming closer and knew Charlotte would be back any moment.

  “Let me do you a favor,” Jasper said, his voice lower now.

  “I don’t want shit from you,” I spat.

  “Just hear me out. I know you probably think your human is loyal, but I bet I can prove she isn’t. Wouldn’t you want to know something like that?”

  I didn’t answer him, but he kept speaking anyway.

  “Why don’t we see what happens when I ask her if she wants me to be her maker? If she says no, you’ll have your proof that she’s not just using you. If she says yes, well then, you’ll know I was right. What do you say?”

  Their collective voices had almost reached us by then. I had seconds left until this conversation wasn’t private anymore.

  “She won’t go for that,” I said, wishing I believed my own words.

  “We’ll see,” he said as he leaned back in his chair again.

  I did my best to clear any expression from my face as they all came walking through the door, Charlotte last, her arm around one of the other humans’ waist.

  I didn’t want to think Charlotte was capable of moving on from me so easily, but I knew the truth deep down. She wanted to be a vampire more than anything. If I chose to deny her, she would find someone else. But would she run off with this strange vampire just to get what she wanted?

  Fuck, I hoped not.

  Chapter 16

  Charlotte

  “Excuse me,” the man a few chairs over said. He coughed into his tissue again, the air wheezing through his lungs roughly. When he pulled the Kleenex away from his mouth, it was spotted with blood.

  “Oh my gosh, are you okay?” I asked, jumping to my feet.

  The man crumpled the tissue in his shaking fist and shrugged. “No, but I will be.”

  I remained standing. It felt like there had to be something I could do. “Do you want a glass of water or something?”

  A small smile crept across his pasty face. “That would be great, actually.”

  I hurried over to the water cooler in the corner of the room, happy to help. I’d known this orientation was for a special circumstance, but I guess I never stopped to think about what would prompt this exception to the rule.

  All three of the other humans there were sick. Like, really sick. The man I’d been talking to had a giant tank of oxygen he carted around behind him. The other man, Henry, who’d been called back to do his assessment first dragged an IV pole everywhere he went, and the only woman was so weak she needed a walker to get around.

  My heart ached for all of them, but it lightened when I remembered they weren’t going to have to be this sick for much longer. They were all there because they had the chance to be vampires. A shot at a new, second life. It was a relief knowing they’d all be in perfect health soon enough.

  I rushed back over with a paper cone full of water and waited as the man drank it. When he was done, I offered to refill it
, but he declined.

  “If I drink too much at once, it’ll all just come back up,” he said around another cough.

  I sat down gingerly next to him. “Is there anything else I can get for you?”

  He shook his head, his smile thin. “No, hon. Thanks, though.”

  “I’m Charlotte, by the way.”

  He nodded. “Greg.”

  “So, Greg, how long have you… wanted to be a vampire?” It was so strange saying those words out loud like that. As if I was simply asking about the weather or current events.

  But there was no more need for secrecy, right? We were all here for the same reason.

  He coughed again, this time harder than before, and I twisted my fingers together nervously, wondering if they had any kind of on-site medical aid. I was afraid I’d have to go get someone to help him before he finally got himself under control enough to answer my question.

  “I met Jasper about a week ago. Took me thirty minutes of talking to him to agree to the change.”

  There was a snort from a few chairs away, and we both turned to look at the only other woman there, her face swollen and hairless. “You made the decision to give up your human life after only a thirty-minute conversation?” She rolled her watery eyes. “He’s been coming around, trying to talk me into this for six months. I finally had to say yes after this last round of chemo did jack shit for me.”

  “Didn’t take that long for me to decide. I’ve been dying for over a year,” Greg said.

  “Yeah, well, I’ve been fighting breast cancer for ten and I wasn’t about to just give up,” the woman replied, a defiant tilt to her chin.

  I saw Greg’s eyes narrow and thought it might be time to try to diffuse the situation. Neither of them looked like they were healthy enough to go many more rounds.

  “That must have been so hard,” I said to the woman.

  Her eyes darted to mine before she looked me up and down. “What about you? You don’t look sick.”