Blood Line Page 14

  “I’m not.”

  “Then why the hell are you here?”

  “She doesn’t need to answer to you,” Greg spoke up behind me, his razor-sharp voice still fragile.

  “It’s okay,” I said to him before turning back to the woman. “You don’t have to be sick to be changed.”

  “No, but why the hell else would you do something like this?”

  I shrugged. “I have my reasons.”

  She snorted again and crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re too young to know much of anything. Maybe you think you want to be a vampire, but you don’t really. You probably just don’t want your fanged boyfriend out there to dump you in a few years when you’re not so fresh-faced anymore.”

  My hands fisted on their own, but I kept my voice level. “He’s not my boyfriend and I don’t want to be a vampire for him.”

  “Sure,” she said, derision clear in her voice.

  “Lady, would you keep your damn opinions to yourself? She doesn’t need to explain shit to you,” Greg tried to yell, but there wasn’t much steam behind his weak voice.

  The woman sat forward so fast I thought she’d fall off the chair. “No, she doesn’t, but I’m not about to sit back and watch a girl barely old enough to vote make a decision like this and not say anything.” She turned to me, a bit of the hardness leaving her features. “Don’t you know what you’re giving up here? Can you even think far enough into the future to realize everything you’ll miss out on if you do this?”

  My hackles were up in seconds as her words twisted around Alexander’s in my head. They both thought I wasn’t old enough to make this decision. That I wasn’t smart enough to know what I wanted. Like everything I’d endured in my life so far wasn’t enough to choose something like this.

  I wanted to yell and scream and tell her to mind her own damn business, but I held my tongue. For one, I really didn’t want to berate a woman who was barely clinging to life. Secondly, I couldn’t deny her words were festering in the back of my brain, begging me to evaluate them closer.

  Was I making a rash decision?

  Were there things I’d regret giving up in ten years? Twenty? Fifty?

  Was I just grasping at the first solution I could find to a problem that might not be permanent?

  But then I thought harder, and further back.

  To the time I’d spent in the hospital after my father tried to kill me, afraid he’d send one of his cronies to finish the job.

  To the first night I’d spent in New York City in a hostel where I’d curled up on the floor in front of the door so no one could get in while I was sleeping.

  To all the new things I had to fear in the dark now I knew the truth about what was bumping around where no one could see.

  I might not have been dying, but I’d almost died multiple times in my life. By the hands of humans, by the hands of vampires, even by my own flesh and blood.

  Didn’t that count for something?

  Hadn’t I paid my dues in fear, if not in sickness?

  Shouldn’t I have the right to make that decision without being on death’s door?

  Abigail’s head popped through the doorframe at the front of the room before I could respond. “Charlotte? You’re up!” she said, her friendliness never wavering.

  I shot Greg a small smile before following the orientation director through the door and into a private conference room. She gestured for me to take a seat across the table from her while she got settled.

  “How are you feeling, Charlotte?”

  I tucked a curl behind my ear and thought about that for a moment. I had a feeling now wasn’t the time to just tell her what I thought she wanted to hear. “I’m okay. Just have a lot to think about, I guess.”

  Abigail nodded, her face serious. “This will be the biggest decision of your life. Do you think you’re ready to make it?”

  “I felt like I was when I got here.”

  “So, what’s changed?”

  I sighed and leaned back in my chair. “It just seems like everyone thinks they know more about me and my situation than I do.”

  “Who’s everyone?”

  “Alexander and that lady in the waiting room to start with.”

  “So, Alexander doesn’t think you should be a vampire?”

  I shrugged. “He thinks I’m making an impulsive decision. That I’ll wake up and regret it someday.”

  “Do you think you’ll regret it?”

  I scoffed and folded my arms across my chest. “Regret being stronger and faster? Regret being almost impossible to kill? I don’t think so. Not after the life I’ve had.”

  “What kind of a life is that?” she asked, sympathy clear in her tone.

  “A hellish one.”

  She nodded, her eyes filled with questions, but she surprised me with her next one. “What do you think about Alexander?”

  The butterflies in my stomach took flight just at the mention of his name. “He’s one of the best people I’ve ever known. He’s got a hard exterior, but I’ve gotten the chance to see beneath all that and he’s really actually amazing. He’s kind and thoughtful and so caring. Just being with him makes me stronger.”

  Abigail smiled softly. “I meant, what do you think of him as a maker?”

  My face heated as I averted my gaze. “Oh. Right. I mean, I guess he’d be okay.”

  She paused, so I peeked up at her. Abigail’s pale brows were furrowed. “You don’t think he’d be a good maker?”

  I guess I hadn’t really given much thought to that yet. I’d spent so much of my time just fighting to get him to agree, that I’d thought very little about what came next.

  “He’s never changed a vampire before, so this would all be new to him. But Alexander would never let anything happen to me. He’d keep me safe and make sure I knew enough to keep myself safe.” I stopped talking for a moment so I could think carefully about my next words. “I actually think he’d make a great maker if he ever got over his aversion to it.”

  “So, Alexander doesn’t want to change you?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know what he wants.”

  Which was true.

  Did he want me to be a vampire?

  Did he want to be the one that changed me?

  Did he even want to be with me anymore?

  We’d spent three whole nights at his place since he’d picked me up from the hospital, and the L-word hadn’t slipped past his lips once. When he’d told me he loved me that first time, I’d never thought to question it. He’d been so sincere, his eyes so clear and full of that love he talked about.

  But that was then.

  Now, I didn’t know what the hell to think.

  “What will you do if Alexander refuses to change you?”

  I’d had this exact thought hundreds of times, but hearing it out loud did something different to me. It made it more real somehow.

  I swallowed past the dry lump in my throat and shrugged. “If he won’t change me, I’ll ask someone else to do it.”

  She nodded slowly. “So, you want to be a vampire no matter who does it?”

  “Basically,” I croaked, the word barely loud enough to hear in that quiet room.

  The thought of doing that with someone other than Alexander turned my stomach. There wasn’t a single vampire I’d ever met that I’d want to change me instead of him. Even Adrienne.

  He’d come to mean so much to me in such a short amount of time. So much of my happiness was wrapped up in him. My sense of safety. My peace of mind. It all began and ended with Alexander.

  I didn’t want anything or anyone the way I wanted him.

  But if he didn’t want to change me, if he didn’t want that responsibility or tie to me, I wouldn’t force him.

  I think the only thing worse than him not changing me would be him regretting that he did change me.

  “Well, Charlotte, I think you’d be a great addition to the vampire community.”

  My head snapped up to look at her. “Huh?�
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  I’d thought for sure she’d think I was too young or too stupid or too inexperienced to make this decision.

  But she only nodded, her smile bright. “We still have some hurdles to jump through, but I think you’ve got a great head on your shoulders and from what I’ve seen, there’s no reason not to change you.”

  The vice around my lungs loosened as I realized I’d been a lot more anxious about this assessment than I’d thought. Now that it was over and it seemed like I’d passed, I felt lighter.

  Abigail stood, and I did the same, heading toward the exit at her insistence. “If you can just take a seat out there, I’ll finish up assessments and I can get you all reunited again.”

  I nodded and walked into a new waiting room that was identical to the last one, except this one was missing Greg and the rude woman. Settling into a chair, I picked up an easy conversation with the other human in there, Henry, as we waited for the rest of the assessments to end.

  The woman was the last to enter the waiting room, her face sporting her perpetual scowl.

  “If you all will follow me, we’ll get you reunited with your vampires and settled in your rooms for the night. If any of you are hungry, we’ll have human food in the dining room shortly.”

  We followed her down the hall, her steps too quick for the others. I slowed down to wait for them when I noticed Greg at the back of the pack, doubled over with his hands on his knees.

  I rushed to his side. “Are you okay?”

  He nodded, his breaths just pants and his lungs wheezing loudly. “I’ll… be fine. Just… go on… ahead.”

  I shook my head and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Come on. I’ll help you back.”

  His protests were weak as I half-carried him to the room where his vampire was waiting. I knew they didn’t have the same sort of relationship I had with Alexander, but hopefully he’d help once we got there.

  My eyes found Alexander’s the moment I entered the room, and despite the fact that I was struggling under Greg’s weight, I still managed to shoot him a wide smile. Which he did not return.

  I cocked my head to the side just as Greg lost his balance and almost toppled us both over. With a sigh, his maker rose from his seat and walked over to us.

  “I’ll take it from here, girl,” the vampire said to me. A clear dismissal.

  I carefully transferred Greg to his arms, cringing as he carelessly grasped him. “Be gentle, please.”

  The vampire turned narrowed eyes to me, but I stood my ground. Finally, one corner of his lips twitched with a smirk. “I’ll be careful.”

  I nodded once and watched him walk off with Greg, thankfully holding him more gingerly than he was before.

  “If you all will follow me, I’ll bring you to your rooms,” Abigail called.

  I turned to find Alexander already at my side, his large body close enough to send my heart racing. “How was it?” he asked, his eyes pointed straight ahead.

  “It was fine.”

  I didn’t want to tell him we’d talked about him not being my maker. It would only start a fight, and we’d had enough of those already.

  “Good, I’m glad,” he said, but still wouldn’t look at me.

  He ushered me forward with a hand on my back as we followed Abigail down a long hallway to our rooms.

  I wished I could say seeing Alexander again after my indecisive episode made me more confident, but it didn’t. It was like something happened in the thirty minutes I was gone, and now it was a stranger standing next to me. Someone who wouldn’t even look me in the eye when he was speaking.

  I didn’t know what was going through his head, but I had a feeling it wouldn’t be good.

  Chapter 17

  Alexander

  “Here is your room, Charlotte, and Alexander, you’re right across the hall.”

  I was barely listening to the orientation director, my mind in turmoil. I looked down at Charlotte to see her frowning, and my hands twitched with the need to smooth her wrinkled brow.

  “We’re in separate rooms,” she said quietly.

  My stomach clenched as I tried to reject this as some sort of sign from the universe. That she wasn’t meant for me. That we weren’t supposed to be together. That our time was almost up.

  I shook my head and leaned in closer, letting her peach scent calm my nerves. “We can share your room if you want.”

  She turned to me with a wide smile and my fucking heart squeezed painfully in my chest. In moments like these, it was so easy to let myself believe that she really wanted me. That she might one day love me like I loved her.

  I shook my head again, my hands clenched into fists. I needed to get out of here. Somewhere without her heart-stopping smile or her sweet scent. I just needed to think for a moment, and I couldn’t do that with her clouding my brain.

  I placed a hand on her back as I led her toward her room. “Why don’t you get settled and I’ll catch up with you later? I have some work calls to make.”

  Which wasn’t exactly true.

  I’d been suspended from duty for a month following the trial that I’d run out of a few weeks ago. Once I’d felt her fear through our blood claim, and known she was in trouble, I hadn’t cared that my freedom was on the line. All that mattered was getting to Charlotte.

  Lucky for me, the courts had been merciful. Instead of jailtime, which had been a real possibility, I’d just been suspended and fined for my transgression. I hadn’t been worried about the consequences when I pulled that asshole’s head off his body until I had to face the possibility of being locked up for years. Leaving Charlotte alone for any period of time was out of the question.

  But the suspension had been a gift in disguise because it allowed me to have all this time with Charlotte. Time I was wasting as I hurried away from her, bursting through the double doors into the sticky July air. I dragged in deep breaths as I tried to untangle the mess in my stomach.

  I took off into the sparse woods surrounding the building, hoping for some clarity in my solitude.

  But all it did was make me miss her.

  I could have been sitting at her side. Doing my best to make her giggle and reveling in the sweet sound.

  Instead, I was out there, wondering why the fuck I was wasting my remaining time with her. Because, despite my best efforts, that bastard Jasper had gotten into my head. I tried to disregard his warnings, but they were buying up real estate in my brain with no sign of leaving.

  My phone rang, and I grabbed for it immediately, happy to have something else to focus on for a little while.

  “Hausle.”

  “I thought I’d get your voicemail,” my boss, Nicholas Talbot, answered.

  I wandered over to a fallen tree and sat down. “Why? Don’t I always answer your calls?”

  “Yeah, but I thought you’d be busy with your human and the orientation.”

  I grit my teeth. Even he knew I was a fucking idiot for being out here and not with her. “I’m taking a break,” I spat, the disgust for myself mounting by the moment.

  “Okay, good, then I can tell you myself. We had an issue with the jail tonight, but it’s under control now.”

  I sat up straighter. “What the hell do you mean? What happened?”

  Nicholas sighed, and I imagined him rubbing the space between his eyes like he did when he was stressed. “There was some kind of surge that cut the power to a couple cells. They think it had something to do with the electrical work the humans are doing down the street, but we’re still investigating.”

  My hands clenched into fists as I imagined all the vampires I’d help put behind those UV bars and which of them might have escaped. “What happened with the vamps in the cells that went out? Did you apprehend them all?”

  “Yeah. None of them made it too far, thankfully.”

  I didn’t want to bring it up, especially since he hadn’t mentioned it, but I needed to know if the most powerful vampire in that jail was still safely locked away. “What about Massimo?�
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  Nicholas growled at the mention of his girlfriend’s former maker. “That son of a bitch is still locked up like the dog he is. He’s probably too weak by now to do much of anything. And after six weeks without blood, he wouldn’t be much of a threat anyway.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that something was going the way it was supposed to.

  “What’s going on with you?” Nicholas asked. “I’d think you’d be happy about this thing.”

  I was not excited about the subject change.

  “Happy about what thing?” I asked like I didn’t know what he was talking about.

  He paused for a moment, and I knew if he were there, I’d have received an exasperated look from him. “Happy your human wants you to change her. Isn’t that a good thing?”

  “Yeah, until she regrets becoming a vampire and resents me for it.”

  “You don’t know that’ll happen.”

  “And you don’t know it won’t!” I yelled louder than I’d meant to, and a nearby owl took off with an angry hoot.

  Nicholas waited for me to get myself under control before he spoke again. “Let me give you a little piece of advice–”

  “I think I’ve had enough advice to last me the next three lifetimes,” I muttered.

  “Well, I’m going to give it to you anyway,” he said, louder than before. “Listen to Charlotte.”

  I waited for him to continue and when he didn’t, I huffed in irritation. “Listen to Charlotte what?” I asked, frustration leaking into my voice.

  “That’s it. Just listen to her. If she says she wants to be a vampire, then that’s what she wants. If she says she wants you to do it, then go ahead and do it. If she’s anything like Adrienne, she’s smart enough to know what she really wants. You’ve tried to do it your way, and it hasn’t worked. Stop trying to act like you know best and just listen.”

  His words swirled around my brain, making more sense than I wanted them to. I shook my head and stood from my seat. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Don’t I?”

  “No, because your girlfriend was already a vampire when you met! You didn’t have to worry about being the sorry asshole she asked to change her. You didn’t have to fucking stress every moment of the day about helping her make a decision that can’t ever be taken back.” I glanced at my phone and realized more time had passed than I’d thought. “Listen, Nicholas, I need to get going. I’ll talk to you later.”